A man begins to go his own way when he finally realizes that love cannot be earned. That it either happens or it doesn't.
One can earn trust, gratitude, or respect. Induce guilt by turning it inside out. d Disgusting, fawning and pleasing d. To arouse fear and the desire to hide by scaring. To get something else through manipulation. Anything but love.
Even the love of parents who couldn't love initially and unconditionally can't be earned by being a good boy or girl. That's the simple and cruel truth. And everyone seems to know it, but for some reason keeps wanting to be good for everyone. And deserve, deserve.
Unconditional love is not conditioned by anything but the very fact of your existence. The basic message of unconditional love: you are and therefore I love you. And even if the person changes or is wrong, It still has no effect on love.
Young children are so in need of love that they are very easy to manipulate, threatening to take it away if they are uncomfortable, naughty, angry, greedy or whatever, that is perfectly natural at different stages of development. Or if just by themselves. So they often try to be good and comfortable, just clinging to a nurturing environment in which they can grow. But they can't grow because they stop being themselves.
There are boys and girls in their forties who can't say a harsh word for fear of being rejected. And still arching their backs in the hope that, when all the conditions are met, their parents will finally accept and love them. They cry for the same thing and are afraid of being rejected. They come to therapy and want to be good clients in their own time for their own money.
But sooner or later (and better if sooner) they realize that no matter what, they can't earn the unconditional love that their parents didn't have in the first place. Wasn't because you were greedy, but because you weren't. For if love's there, it can't be hidden. It is impossible not to give it away.
And if they don't have it, there's no point in pursuing it. To mourn the loss and the impossibility to go your own way in search of love elsewhere. Where it's given. From those who are capable. In a way that's possible. And it turns out that there are many places that give. It's like trying to get potatoes from the saleswoman at the shoe store. And she has no potatoes and can't have any. You can cry, beg, try, or scold, but the potatoes won't show up. But if you step out of the shoe store and look around, you'll see a vegetable stand. And there to find what they want.
It's the same with love. You want very much to get it from someone, to earn it, to covet it. But that's not how it works. You can just be yourself, go your own way and hope to meet someone who is right for you. Who needs a weird freak like that?. Such a slow inept. Or just an ordinary, unremarkable person like you. The ordinary ones, by the way, are the first to go. There's a line for them in our area.
Author: Aglaia Dateshidze
A man begins to go his own way when he finally realizes that love cannot be earned. That it either happens or it doesn't.
One can earn trust, gratitude, or respect. Induce guilt by turning it inside out. d Disgusting, fawning and pleasing d. To arouse fear and the desire to hide by scaring. To get something else through manipulation. Anything but love.
Even the love of parents who couldn't love initially and unconditionally can't be earned by being a good boy or girl. That's the simple and cruel truth. And everyone seems to know it, but for some reason keeps wanting to be good for everyone. And deserve, deserve.
Unconditional love is not conditioned by anything but the very fact of your existence. The basic message of unconditional love: you are and therefore I love you. And even if the person changes or is wrong, It still has no effect on love.
Young children are so in need of love that they are very easy to manipulate, threatening to take it away if they are uncomfortable, naughty, angry, greedy or whatever, that is perfectly natural at different stages of development. Or if just by themselves. So they often try to be good and comfortable, just clinging to a nurturing environment in which they can grow. But they can't grow because they stop being themselves.
There are boys and girls in their forties who can't say a harsh word for fear of being rejected. And still arching their backs in the hope that, when all the conditions are met, their parents will finally accept and love them. They cry for the same thing and are afraid of being rejected. They come to therapy and want to be good clients in their own time for their own money.
But sooner or later (and better if sooner) they realize that no matter what, they can't earn the unconditional love that their parents didn't have in the first place. Wasn't because you were greedy, but because you weren't. For if love's there, it can't be hidden. It is impossible not to give it away.
And if they don't have it, there's no point in pursuing it. To mourn the loss and the impossibility to go your own way in search of love elsewhere. Where it's given. From those who are capable. In a way that's possible. And it turns out that there are many places that give. It's like trying to get potatoes from the saleswoman at the shoe store. And she has no potatoes and can't have any. You can cry, beg, try, or scold, but the potatoes won't show up. But if you step out of the shoe store and look around, you'll see a vegetable stand. And there to find what they want.
It's the same with love. You want very much to get it from someone, to earn it, to covet it. But that's not how it works. You can just be yourself, go your own way and hope to meet someone who is right for you. Who needs a weird freak like that?. Such a slow inept. Or just an ordinary, unremarkable person like you. The ordinary ones, by the way, are the first to go. There's a line for them in our area.
Author: Aglaia Dateshidze