If you find yourself on the brink of temptation, take a look at these 10 truths before you throw yourself headlong into the maelstrom.
There are no positive reasons to have a relationship with a married man. Even good reasons don't stand the test of time and turn out to be bad ideas in the wrapper of good ones.
Why you shouldn't date a married man?
If you find yourself on the brink of temptation, take a look at these 10 truths before you throw yourself into the maelstrom:
1. He won't commit to you.
A man who is in an unhappy or unsatisfying marriage may become infatuated with how wonderful he feels with you. He might even blurt out something like, "I've never felt this way before, and I can spend the rest of my life with you!" - It can sound like a promise of a future with you. It's not like that. Don't confuse his love for feeling and having a good time with his love for you and making a commitment to you.
2. His cheating tells you how he handles any situation he doesn't like.
You are proof that he avoids unpleasant situations. This means that he will probably resort to some sort of avoidant behavior with you as well if the two of you run into relationship problems.
3. Hiding, hiding is exhausting.
The need to keep your relationship a secret can undermine your self-esteem and make you miss out on one of the great moments of the relationship. Walking alone (freely and without hiding) fills you with joy to be with someone who is proud to be with you.
4. He sits on two chairs.
He has a legitimate marital relationship that maintains his public image. He also has an illicit relationship with you to make up for what he missed out on in his marriage. As grateful as he is while doing so, many women who deal with married men begin to resent the fact that he is profitably taking the best of both worlds, while they get the least.
5. Can you love someone who is so disrespectful to his wife?
Having a relationship with a married man tells you how little respect he has for his wife by deceiving her instead of being a man and telling her the truth.
6. Lose his respect and it's over.
Even though he's the one who wanted you. Even though he's the one who's hard to say no to. And even though he tells you how wonderful you are... On some level he will have a hard time respecting you for agreeing to such a "misguided" relationship. As in Graucho Marx's joke, "He may not want a relationship that involves a partner like him."
7. You are not a burglar, but an accomplice.
Whether you like it or not, you willingly participate in how a man violates his commitments and betrays his wife's trust, not to mention rudely disappoints his children and prevents them from seeing him as a role model.
8. Lack of support.
He won't be able to drop everything to come to your aid if you need it, as he tries to keep you a secret from his spouse. You will probably always be second in his priorities.
9. You're fooling yourself.
Despite the fact that he assures you how much you mean to him, the fact that he has not ended his relationship with his wife honestly and respectfully (and has not begun a legitimate relationship with you) are actions that speak louder than words.
10. Beware of the boomerang of guilt.
Many men (and women) have trouble accepting full responsibility for their deceitful actions. It is human nature to find it easier to blame than to shame. If his wife catches him or his conscience catches up with him, don't be surprised that he will try to blame you and make him take the blame.
11. Time is too precious to waste.
Have you ever noticed how the years go by faster as you get older? A relationship with a married man can go on for a long time before you realize that precious time has been lost when you could have enjoyed a healthy relationship with a chance to thrive. When women who have been in relationships with married men finally move on with their lives, they often regret wasting their time in an unpromising affair.
So, if you're in a situation like this, decide for yourself if it's really worth it?
I wish you could see this guy for who he really is, not who you want him to be. I wish you happiness.
If you find yourself on the brink of temptation, take a look at these 10 truths before you throw yourself headlong into the maelstrom.
There are no positive reasons to have a relationship with a married man. Even good reasons don't stand the test of time and turn out to be bad ideas in the wrapper of good ones.
Why you shouldn't date a married man?
If you find yourself on the brink of temptation, take a look at these 10 truths before you throw yourself into the maelstrom:
1. He won't commit to you.
A man who is in an unhappy or unsatisfying marriage may become infatuated with how wonderful he feels with you. He might even blurt out something like, "I've never felt this way before, and I can spend the rest of my life with you!" - It can sound like a promise of a future with you. It's not like that. Don't confuse his love for feeling and having a good time with his love for you and making a commitment to you.
2. His cheating tells you how he handles any situation he doesn't like.
You are proof that he avoids unpleasant situations. This means that he will probably resort to some sort of avoidant behavior with you as well if the two of you run into relationship problems.
3. Hiding, hiding is exhausting.
The need to keep your relationship a secret can undermine your self-esteem and make you miss out on one of the great moments of the relationship. Walking alone (freely and without hiding) fills you with joy to be with someone who is proud to be with you.
4. He sits on two chairs.
He has a legitimate marital relationship that maintains his public image. He also has an illicit relationship with you to make up for what he missed out on in his marriage. As grateful as he is while doing so, many women who deal with married men begin to resent the fact that he is profitably taking the best of both worlds, while they get the least.
5. Can you love someone who is so disrespectful to his wife?
Having a relationship with a married man tells you how little respect he has for his wife by deceiving her instead of being a man and telling her the truth.
6. Lose his respect and it's over.
Even though he's the one who wanted you. Even though he's the one who's hard to say no to. And even though he tells you how wonderful you are... On some level he will have a hard time respecting you for agreeing to such a "misguided" relationship. As in Graucho Marx's joke, "He may not want a relationship that involves a partner like him."
7. You are not a burglar, but an accomplice.
Whether you like it or not, you willingly participate in how a man violates his commitments and betrays his wife's trust, not to mention rudely disappoints his children and prevents them from seeing him as a role model.
8. Lack of support.
He won't be able to drop everything to come to your aid if you need it, as he tries to keep you a secret from his spouse. You will probably always be second in his priorities.
9. You're fooling yourself.
Despite the fact that he assures you how much you mean to him, the fact that he has not ended his relationship with his wife honestly and respectfully (and has not begun a legitimate relationship with you) are actions that speak louder than words.
10. Beware of the boomerang of guilt.
Many men (and women) have trouble accepting full responsibility for their deceitful actions. It is human nature to find it easier to blame than to shame. If his wife catches him or his conscience catches up with him, don't be surprised that he will try to blame you and make him take the blame.
11. Time is too precious to waste.
Have you ever noticed how the years go by faster as you get older? A relationship with a married man can go on for a long time before you realize that precious time has been lost when you could have enjoyed a healthy relationship with a chance to thrive. When women who have been in relationships with married men finally move on with their lives, they often regret wasting their time in an unpromising affair.
So, if you're in a situation like this, decide for yourself if it's really worth it?
I wish you could see this guy for who he really is, not who you want him to be. I wish you happiness.